Malakar, The Freshmaker!

8 04 2007

[ Edit: The following post is meant to be half funny, and half serious. It’s up to you to decide which half is which. Decide wisely ]

Wait… did you think this post was going to be about how Sanjaya Malakar is ruining the TV Show Phenomenon that is American Idol? Maybe you’re right… NOT! How about this… The current season of the TV Show Phenomenon that is American Idol is just a metaphor for the future of the Music Industry. Offended? Outraged? Perhaps you’d be better off with some *Biased American Crud*

What would a Sanjaya victory on American Idol mean for America? It means a lot of things. Sanjaya would be signing a record deal. Sanjaya would be releasing an album. Sanjaya would be going on tour. What else would it mean? Simply put, the American Dream would once again be able to spit in the face of those that stand to defile that dream. Sad as it sounds, there are sick people in this country that want this 17 year old kid (that’s right, he’s a KID!) humiliated. Even worse, there are psychotic people in this world that promote the idea that this 17 year old kid (once again, he’s a KID!) is dead!? That’s right. Don’t believe me? CLICK!

[ Edit: If you knew me, you’d know that the only thing I’m serious about in this post is the state of the music industry. Who actually watches AI? Oh wait, I didn’t mean to insult you ;) ]

Voicing an opinion is a wonderful gift that we must always take advantage of. But wishing or falsifying death to a 17 year old kid (who is only trying to achieve the American Dream) because he is ruining your evening television time, and calling that funny? That’s Unfortunate…

[ Edit: For those of you who completely misunderstood the humor in the above section, the story in the blog was an April Fools joke. Pshhh, get with it people! ]

Sure, American Idol is a *Talent Show* where *Talented* individuals move on based on their *Talent*… wait.. you don’t actually believe that, do you? Replace the phrase “Talent Show” with “Popularity Show” (and so on), and then you’ll understand what American Idol has become, and will eventually be its much-anticipated downfall.

It seems like the American Ear has forgotten that “Music” does not always come from the “Marketable”. Unfortunately, it seems as if “Marketability” has conquered “Music”. Is this what the Music Industry has really become? A bloodsport of popularity, status, and money? What happened, Record Labels of America? Did you run out of ways to fool the population? Afraid that your time is coming to an end? Feeling the Pressure? Start scouting Live Shows, or go play some Wii…

Music will rule the stages, stereos and airwaves once again. When? Sooner that you think…

Until then, please enjoy my Daily Moment of Zen, brought to you by Hugh Grant!

[ Bonus Points to anyone who can name an actual 80’s/90’s group that looks and sounds like Mr. Grant’s theatrical shindig in the video! It can be more than one group ]

And now, for the grand finale!

You know what really Fidgets my Widgets? Major League Baseball games on FOX! Does anyone else find Tim McCarver’s voice grating and lame? I don’t need him on my television explaining what the *A* and *L* stands for in *AL* OR telling me that the Mets game is at Shea Stadium when they’re in Atlanta! Are you serious? Get off my TV!

In case you don’t know who Tim McCarver is, let Brian from Family Guy introduce you.

[ Note: Tim McCarver sounds JUST like that! ]




3 responses

8 04 2007

Down with crap artists, dammit. I’m so over the music industry.

9 04 2007

Oh for Pete Sakes. The “Sanjaya is Dead” post at Right Celebrity is the annual April 1 post. Isn’t it even mildly amusing to you, despite your very serious television-watching nature, that Simon Cowell was arrested for hurling him off a hotel balcony? Don’t you like the photo of Simon’s arrest? Or Paula’s statement of condolence? Lighten up!

By the way, Sanjaya has already achieved the American Dream. He will sign a record deal no matter how far he makes it on the show, and he will, at least financially, probably make out better than any of the other mediocre contestants. But none of that matters. American Idos is a reality television show masquerading as talent. People who should never have their 15 minutes of fame manage to get it.

10 04 2007

Hey, thanks for your visit to our blog and your clarification. Keep up the nice work!

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