You Stay Classy, Gonzo!

7 04 2011

Update: I was informed that Gonzo would offer this post to his mother as a birthday gift. Isn’t that swell? What a guy, that Gonzo! Send my regards! =D

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Another game of the 2011 MLB season goes by, and another Mets rant goes live. If I may, assuming you’ve just read the linked article, I would like to sum up the first 5 games of this young season for the Mets.

Game 1 – Josh Johnson showed up, Pelfrey was erratic
Game 2 – Wright puts it away, Frankie goes wild
Game 3 – Dickey was ridiculous
Game 4 – Young impresses, Hamels struggles vs Mets again
Game 5 – Mets come back from 7-0 to tie, Bullpen can’t hold it

Looking back at the first 5 games of the season, there are a ton of positives. Wright is hitting, Dickey continues his dominance from last season, Young is lights out in his debut, The 7-run comeback, and they’re getting contributions from everyone on the roster. If you could write anything negative about the first 5 games, it would be that Pelfrey has been off of his game (if he ever appears to have one), and K-Rod well had an awful appearance. That’s it. Five games, tons of positives.

“But Josh, why would anyone write such a ‘bashing’ article if the Mets are playing better than anyone really expected, and aren’t 0-5 to start the year like the guys up in Boston?”

Well, unidentifiable question asker, it’s really quite simple. There’s nothing ‘substantial’ to knock the Mets about. They’re not 0-5, they’re playing hard, they’re playing as a team and they look like they’re having fun! Despite what writers want you to believe, there actually is no “National Punchline” involving the Mets. So Chris Rock, a Mets Fan, makes a few cracks. He’s a comedian. He gets paid to make people laugh. Of course its funny. I laughed when I heard that joke! So Seth McFarlane decides to throw the Mets under the bus with a crack before the season even starts. Again, he gets PAID to create a show that will make people laugh. Otherwise, Family Guy would’ve been off the air a long time ago. John Stewart? The Mets fan? I don’t think I need to show you where this is going… If you can’t laugh at yourself, or the things you love, then… nevermind, I’m not being paid to be your therapist.

The bottom line is this… As long as the Mets continue to play hard, and put up a fight on the field, the only thing we’ll continue to see from ‘expert bloggers’ and writers looking for a quick burst of hits to their articles in order to reach their quota for their newspaper is an overdose of “BAHAHAHA METS (insert claim of actual rivalry) BAHAHAHA METS (insert random madoff joke) BAHAHAHA METS (insert random charlie sheen quote about winning)”

In short, what you’ve just read over at the Philly.com website is the result of what happens when a sports writer strokes his e-peen for just a second too long. It feels good on the way out, but its just not worth the mess. But don’t blame me for the impressive mess Gonzo leaves for you to clean up. Go on and tell him to clean it up himself.

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