No Band For You… Six Months!

28 01 2009
Top o' the mornin' to ya, Gov'na!

Top o' the mornin' to ya, Gov'na!

Browsing around this morning, I found a particular story that further proved how ridiculous we’ve become in America. John Coleman, the drum major for Cleveland Firefighters Memorial Pipes & Drums, quit after some hard to handle and (what I call) unnecessary publicity.

At the Inauguration of President Obama, the CFMP&D (try pronouncing that 10 times fast) marched in the parade. Obama reportedly smiled directly at John, and then waved at the band. Doing what any polite person would do, John nodded in acknowledgement and gave the President-to-be a slight wave in return. Sounds like a non-issue, right? Think again… According to Ken Rybka, the band’s Manager and Web Page Editor, the band rehearsed over and over, and knew it was a military parade. “Protocol and proper decorum had to be followed”, he said, according to For breaking “protocol”, John Coleman was suspended for… count it… six months. What I can’t grasp is the idea that a nod of the head, a smile, or a wave would be gestures that warrant any kind of suspension, regardless of the “protocol”. Sure, the band has rules, I get that. It’s definitely not my place to say someone was wrong here, but I can only imagine the amount of excitement, pride, and joy that Mr. Coleman felt when Obama looked right at him. What’s even better, is that Rybka is quoted to say that Coleman’s resignation “comes as a shock and surprise.”

Seriously?… Shock?… Surprise?… Would you like your name to be thrown all over national airwaves for something as minor as a wave, smile, and a nod of the head? Give me a break! Nobody needs this kind of attention for something so unimportant. To Mr. Coleman (and this is just my opinion here), he had a chance to connect with the oncoming President of the United States for just a moment, and that’s excitement that many would be foolish to pass up. It’s unfortunate that this country’s media, yet again, doesn’t fail to impress with the amount of non-stories out there, making Mr. Coleman an “innocent victim” (I put that in quotations because George Carlin, RIP, had a lot to say about the term ‘Innocent Victim’).

In review: Obama looked at Coleman. Coleman was excited. Coleman nodded, smiled, and waved at Obama. Coleman was suspended for breaking “protocol”. Coleman’s suspension became a national story. Coleman quits due to the publicity becoming a bit much to handle.

What have we accomplished?: Nothing positive. My thanks go out to the national media, who never fail to impress me with their lack of important stories, making me blog about this when I could be blogging about the Mets!… wait… nevermind… as long as Citibank has their name plastered all over the Mets franchise, I’ll pass.


The President of the United States of Boo!

1 04 2008

Opening Day… It’s supposed to be a wonderful occasion for Major League Baseball, the players, and the fans. But down in the District of Columbia, Opening Day turned into Opening Boo. George W. Bush was announced to throw the first pitch before the Washington Nationals played their first game in their new ballpark. What was supposed to be a pretty sweet moment in Nationals history, turned into yet another example of just how much us Americans look forward to the end of Bush’s presidency (including myself). Enjoy!


Betrayal of Trust – George W Bush

17 09 2007

Enough Said…

A Day for Celebration!

4 07 2007

Who isn’t blogging today? It’s Independence Day! We have so much to celebrate in this country between our history, our hardships, and our triumphs! But today, I don’t want to celebrate any of that. Today, I want to celebrate something that needs to be celebrated, especially in this country.

Today, my fellow Americans (and world-wide patrons), I celebrate “The American Idiot”. It’s because of you, “American Idiot”, that we live in such a fruitful prosperous country… and in celebration, I present to you, my American Dumbasses (in no particular order) that make our country what it is today!

Dumbass #1 – Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton

Remember This? Remember That? Paris, you’re a celebrity. Why is that important? Because celebrities are what really make up this country, aren’t they? Yes, millions of people from around the world look to you, Paris Hilton, to be the role model they never had. Why come to this country to become a good law-abiding American, when they can come to this country with hopes of becoming the kind of person they respect. Nobody wants to emulate the school teacher, police officer, firefighter, or even the (clean) athletes of America. Why bother with those people, right? Are you really an airhead? Are you just acting dumb? You flip-flop more than John Kerry, and for that I salute you, American Dumbass!

Dumbass #2 – Tim Leiweke

Tim Leiweke

$250 Million. Wait.. what!? Who are you giving $250 Million to? David Beckham? Phew.. I thought you were going to give that kind of money to charities, YMCAs, Boys and Girls Clubs, and all of those unimportant things. Nobody really cares about those things anyway, right? David Beckham coming to the United States to play Soccer (Futbol, Football, whatever you wanna call it) in Los Angeles is worth way more than the smiles and laughter of America’s youth being cared for. You are a true inspiration to the American population, and more importantly, the world. You dish out cash like it was a spoiled kid’s allowance, and for that I salute you, American Dumbass!

Dumbass #3 – George W. Bush

Sad George Bush

Now, now… you all saw this coming, didn’t you? This nomination has nothing to do with his past term. I’m well over that. I’m even over his bizarre need to keep our troops in Iraq for as long as possible. No, this prestigious nomination comes in light of his decision to pardon Scooter Libby. That’s right, Pardon! Not only is George the man, but he should be commended, and even worshiped by every single human being from around the world. Isn’t George the epitome of good? Who doesn’t love this guy, when he goes around Pardoning his friends? George, you make decisions like Michael Richards at a comedy club, and for that I salute you, American Dumbass!

That concludes my current nominations, but the list does indeed go on from there. If you’d like to add someone to the list for Honorable Mention, let me know in a comment, and I’ll be sure to edit this post with your selection! Now, who wants some Zen!?

Pie tastes better with Cool Hwip!

Happy Independence Day everyone! Seriously, lets all be thankful we live in the country we do. I’m proud to be an American, and you should be too, despite the above sarcasm. God Bless America!

%d bloggers like this: