This is probably going to be the weirded subjects of all my posts, but today’s Daily Moments (that’s right, 4 videos) of Zen have to do with “Prostate Exams”. I couldn’t help but post these hilarious Family Guy videos I found on YouTube today. Now remember, if prostate exams make you a little nauseous, maybe you should click on this text. No.. wait.. that site will make you nauseous too… Enjoy!
Jack Black…
Kyle Gass…
American Idol…
Add it all up, and you’ve got… Awesomeness!However, thanks to “Evil“, the video has been removed from YouTube. Damn You Evil!
Although, it wasn’t better than Peter Griffin (The Next American Idol), who is also my Daily Moment of Zen
If the title of this post left you wondering if I’ve ever washed my mouth out with soap, then you should read another blog, or read this.
Now, on to the Porn! Huh? What? Did I say porn? I meant video games! Really? Yep! I stumbled upon a hilarious list of Video Games titles that sound Porn.. or how IGN put it, “Pr0n”. I thought I’d share a few of them with you.
#7 on IGN’s list of Games that Sound Like Pr0n is “Meat Gone Bad”. That’s right… Meat Gone Bad. The release of this game has to be the weirded thing I’ve ever heard of since Ron Jeremy got back into Porn after his stint on The Surreal Life. What’s even funnier is IGN’s description of the game, stating that it involves “squirting a gelatinous substance on incoming slabs of spoiled meat“. Yummy! I’d share a screenshot of the game itself, but I can’t seem to find one anywhere. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing…
#6 on the list is “Sticky Balls“.
If Gizmondo actually succeeded, this title would be a must-have in any porn studio! Right? Well, Gizmondo didn’t succeed, and here’s why!
#5 on the list is “Fat Worm Blows a Sparky“.
Okay… take a moment to laugh… and stop. Yes, that’s the correct title. No, I didn’t make that up. In IGN’s description of the game, it states “In an impressive display of restraint, the review goes on for over 1,000 words without making a single joke about the title“. Somehow I find that extremely hard to believe. Come on… Fat Worm? Sparky? Blows!?
Wanna see more? Click Here and read the entire list!
Now, on to my Daily Moment of Zen! In tribute of Pr0n, I give you…
So it’s been a few days since my last post, and I’ve run dry of any blogging inspiration. But never fear! I’ll be full of ideas in a day or so! For the time being, enjoy my Daily Moment of Zen… a couple of videos that I collectively like to call, Darth Stewie!
Oh yeah, the Mets Won! Booyah!
You? or you? Maybe you? Well, only if you’re sure….
Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Want some Pie?
Aww… did my Daily Moment of Zen make you nauseous? Or did you want to know what they were ‘drinking‘ in that little contest?
But I’m really looking forward to hearing his album release! (Meaning, I’m sure his auto-tuned album will sound a lot different than his live performances. Although, I’m a big fan of his carefree attitude. It’s really refreshing)
In other super cool news, I’m going to see John Mayer with Ben Folds!!!!
Booyah!!!
Hmm… I’ve really got nothing tonight… except for my Daily Moment of Zen! Enjoy!
Creeped out? Mission Accomplished!
My sister, the pop/boy band junkie, has inspired me with her most recent blog post. Therefore, I’ve decided to initiate a new tradition here on the blog: The Top 10 Awesomely Lame Music Videos. Today’s victim? Boy Bands! from New Kids on the Block to *NSYNC, my sister and I have compiled the best of the worst, along with some expert analysis from both of us. So, without further adieu, I give you the Top 10 Awesomely Lame Boy Band Music Videos!
#10: No Mercy – Where Do You Go
Menudo made a comeback? Oh wait… they’re still around, aren’t they… Unfortunately, the Beach/Girls/Party combination wasn’t enough to save this catchy video’s song from making the back-end of this list.
#9: 98 Degrees – The Hardest Thing
Rule #12 in the book of how to pick up a Las Vegas Showgirl: Become a Boxer, get beaten… badly, get girl (in that exact order)
#8: B2K – Uh Huh
Uh… huh…
#7: LFO – Summer Girls
Instead of getting my “Abercrombie & Fitch” catalog in the mail, I get it on my TV screen! I would’ve put this video in the Top 5, but it was lacking that… how do you say… nevermind, it was lacking…
#6: Five – When The Lights Go Out (UK Version)
Somebody turn the lights back on! For the love of god, turn them on!
#5: New Kids on the Block – Please Don’t Go Girl
Concept? Anyone? is that Brooklyn I see? Does anyone actually call them N.K.O.T.B.?
#4: 2Gether – U + Me = Us (Calculus)
Did you see Kevin Farley? Did you? It’s Kevin Farley!!! This incredible mock up of a Boy Band was just enough to inch past the New Kids
#3: O-Town – Liquid Dreams
Whoever gave these guys the right to perform a song about “Liquid Dreams” gave hope to all “Liquid Dreamers” across the globe! Dream on with your bad selves!
#2: Backstreet Boys – Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)
Haunted House, Scary Mansion, or whatever you wanna call it… It all seems so familiar.. almost, Disney? or was it… Scooby Doo? As concept-less as this video seems, it wasn’t quite good enough to crack the #1 spot. (Note: Mummies are not Sexy, okay Nick?)
#1: *NSYNC – Here We Go
Girls… Parties… Basketball!? Did High School Musical come out with a Prequel? Unless I see Kobe Bryant, Carmelo Anthony, and LeBron James slam dunking to the music, I just don’t see the connection… at all! Congratulations *NSYNC, you’ve made the #1 Awesomely Lame Boy Band Music Video!
And now… the consolation prize (and my Daily Moment of Zen) goes to…
Bell Biv DeVoe – Poison
I’m officially speechless…
Yep, that’s where I am… right in the middle of that red mess on the map! If you haven’t heard, there’s a “Nor’easter” coming my way, and it’s supposed to be the storm from hell. Although, I think we’ve finally passed through what was our biggest hell-storm of the year (Look 2 Posts Down). Personally, I love storms… well… not being in the middle of storms… but more like listening to and watching a storm from the comfort of my own home.
I finally went to my first Mets game of the 2007 Season, and it was last night against the Washington Nationals. In case you missed the game, check out the results here! The game-time temperature was a brisk 46 degrees (that quickly dipped down to around 35 with the 26mph wind gusts! Hooray!). I… was… FREEZING! But, nevertheless, my sister and I roughed out the cold to see Julio Franco (Oldest Player in MLB History) save the game with the go-ahead (and eventual game-winning) hit in the bottom of the 7th inning!
So, you’re probably asking yourself, “Why did he put stars in place of the obvious F-word in the title of this post?”, right? The answer it quite simple. Lately, I’ve been using that very word a little too much. I blame it on being a New Yorker. Some people blame it on my friends (who also have an “extremely extensive vocabulary”). I say, Fuck is totally awesome word, and it’s definitely not a racist word either. Don’t believe me? Wait.. oh I see.. ok, fine. As long as you keep any form of the word “Fuck” at least 7 words away from the word “Ho”, 5 words away from the word”Nappy”, and 14 words away from the word “Head”… then we’re all squared away, right?
Hold on a second… XM just called my cell phone… I think they’re offering me my own radio show, where I can be as offensive and simple-minded as I want… You mean Imus isn’t doing that yet? Oh wait, you’re right, Stern’s already doing it!
In celebration of the word “Fuck”, I present to you my Daily Moment of Zen. Take it away, Lebowski!
If you only knew how much I laughed when I watched that video… Huh? That was a bit much for you? Fine… Sorry Lebowski, you’re just too much for some of my readers. So, in that case, Peter Griffin, the stage is yours once again!
Okay… so Peter doesn’t say “Fuck”… but doesn’t that make you wanna say “What the Fuck!?”
I suppose the title of this post should create a positive buzz, but I’m not feeling too impressed at the moment. Let’s start (where things usually start) at the beginning.
Matt Aronson and I (Soundscape Soul) joined a website called FameCast. This website offers a chance to perform live in Austin, TX for the eventual chance of a $10,000 prize (along with national exposure) to the artist who draws the most votes by signing up for a “Fan Account”, and then clicking on the “Vote” button next to the artist’s video. (Sounds like a cool idea, huh?) When we joined the Pop Stage, we barely got through the open round. Round two saw us receive double the votes from the previous Round. When we made it into the Top 25, that’s when we knew that we had some serious work to do. Matt and I went beserk and sent out emails, myspace messages, bulletins, and promoted the competition on every music website we are on. The result was amazing. We were voted into the Top 10! (Still Sound pretty cool?). The Top 10 voting began, and we ran out of the gates with another week-long promoting and marketing run. In the end, it paid off. We made it into the Top 5, but had to withdraw from the competition. Matt and I didn’t realize that the date of the Live Show fell during Passover, so we couldn’t perform. But after watching the Top 5 Pop Stage Webcast, and reading about some of the experiences of artists on the Pop Stage, I truly believe that our decision to stick with our beliefs was the right decision.
We’ve decided to enter ourselves onto a more “appropriate” stage for Season 2 (which starts on May 2nd), the Singer/Songwriter Stage. Why is this more appropriate? Because things got a little ugly after we withdrew from the Pop Stage…
[ Before you continue, please read “This Blog“. The following “rant” is a response to the contents in that blog ]
As a musician, songwriter, and artist… I feel that I have automatically become a role model for not only aspiring musicians, songwriters, and artists… but for any human being in this world. As a community, no matter how popular or famous an artist may be, we are role models to the world. We have been given a gift; the gift of Music. Aren’t gifts meant to be “given”? If there is one thing in this world that everyone can relate to, it is Music… whether it be a classical symphony, a heavy metal rock ballad, or even a simple drum beat against some pots and pans. When we (the world) creates music, it stimulates us in ways that goes beyond words.
When Music is brought into the “Competition” realm, it no longer becomes a means for communication, peace, or expression. It becomes… how you say… a Weapon of Mass Popularity, and even a form of violent behavior that should never be unleashed on any human being in this world.
So after all of that ranting, here comes my words of advice for anyone in “Music” Competitions. It also goes for anyone who is going for their music dreams.
[ Note: “Music Competition” = Music Industry ]
Your music is not for everyone. My music is not for everyone. The world’s music is not for everyone. Some people will tell you they don’t like your music. Some people will really tell you they don’t like your music. Some people will go to great lengths to express their negative opinions towards your music by causing you emotional strife.
My real advice would be this…
Music is a gift, not a toy. Convince people that it’s a toy, and you’re bound to ruin somebody’s gift. Never forget how it made you feel to successfully play your first chord on a guitar, pluck your first bass line, play your first piano, belt your first melody, or beat your first drum. Felt good, didn’t it? Sure, anything can be turned into a business… even Music. But never forget your own beliefs when you enter such a business. Surround yourself with friends and fans who believe slander and humiliation will get you far, and you’ve already gone bankrupt.
FameCast is a wonderful opportunity for all artists. It gives you the chance at exposure regardless of how far you make it in the competition. However, with every competition comes rivalry and negativity. Anyone can “dish it”… but can you “take it”?
Maybe it’s time we all went back to the Elementary School Glee Club… or the High School Marching Band… Good times… Good times…
FameCast, Season 2, here we come!… but not before my Daily Moment of Zen! Peter Griffin, you’re the next American Idol!
Somebody call Don Imus… XM is knocking on his door… or maybe it’s Sirius… I think his Fries are done.
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